Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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