you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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