Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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