so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
