After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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