I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize