Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
