SEEEEXXX PLEASE
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
