Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
