Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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