i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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