Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
