dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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