you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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