Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
