In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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