Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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