see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize