im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So squirting runs in the family.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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