Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
