Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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