her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Holy shit dude........stairs
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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