halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize