What did we do last night that was yellow?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
