I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
