What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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