Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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