even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
In America we eat man semen.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
