alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
