ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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