i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
