Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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