Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
