im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
