Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
