i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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