Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
