Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
