glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
