Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Randomize
