Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
