honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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