I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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