Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize