omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
