i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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