Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize