Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
