yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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