STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
His nipple licking is glorious
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