eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
