Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
There's always time for handjobs
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
