I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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