did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
