So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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