Joe is yelling at the trees again.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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