I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
