I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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