so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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