Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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