Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
