I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
