Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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