Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize