oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
