TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
not ubering you a puppy
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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