Will you blow on my dice?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize