so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
