if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Randomize
