shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
